Diaries of The Breadman’s Daughter: Feel the Pain.

13815202_10153695006060918_327432466_n (1)

Girl Warrior. Pain is inevitable. So feel it. Fully. Thoroughly. Exhaustively. Allow yourself to experience every little detail of the hurt you are experiencing. Physically, mentally and spiritually. Wring your emotions dry.

Purge. Cleanse. Release. Repeat.

There is no escaping pain. You can run but you cannot hide. It affects us all sooner or later. Like death, it happens to everyone and everything. Guaranteed. But unlike death, it doesn’t just happen once. And then boom. Lights out. Pain recurs. Also guaranteed.

But what isn’t guaranteed is your perspective. The way you think, feel, react, respond and behave when you’re suffering and in your darkest hour. You may not be able to control when something hurtful is going to come your way or cross your path. But you can control what you do when it does.

This isn’t easy. Your first impulse may be avoidance. Or denial. Or retreat. You may want to run like hell away from the source of your torment, if you can. Or pull the covers over your head. Bury it in the sand. Lock yourself away. Hold a pity party. Lash out. Make accusations. Lay blame. Threaten to harm yourself. Crush your psyche. Curse at your body or mind. Condemn their betrayal. Give up.

Do these things if you must. And there will be times when you need to do all or some of these things. Recovery, getting rid of the bad shit that happens, is a process. And it takes time to heal wounds. Whether it’s a broken arm or a broken heart. A sore knee or a sore spirit. An injured back or an injured mind.

But know Girl Warrior that eventually you have to face it all. Have a showdown with the pain. Feel it all. Surrender to it all. Accept that it is happening. Because the pain won’t leave you until you deal with it. One way or the other. Head-on works. So does a slow and gentle approach. Trust yourself. You actually already know what to do. The wisdom to guide you through this already abides within. Listen to your small quiet voice of truth. Know that all pain is temporary.

Girl Warrior, let this pain be one of your quintessential teachers. Learn. Grow. Forgive. Accept. Emerge. Move on.

69617_10151236328866266_1747284945_n (1)

479406_10150995155606568_1194891344_o (1)

13718624_10153573250716205_879620948119751059_n (1)

13816966_10154256034685120_2076823867_n (1)

13817211_10154932275420260_963132062_n (2)

13819686_10153611376156846_1703442207_n (1)

13820448_10154499045735832_1354648256_n (1)

13820752_10153568369755946_713682462_n (1)

13823660_10153611380731846_86170454_n (2)

Danielle E - pain photo (1)

DSCN2797 (1).jpg

DSCN1634 (1)

IMG_1761 (1)

IMG_2406

Photo on 2016-07-24 at 10.03 AM #2 (1)

Diaries of The Breadman’s Daughter: Don’t Take Offense.

11206022_10155458334425507_79965671381659811_n

Girl Warrior. Don’t take offense. This may be one of your greatest challenges. One you’ll not only need to work on every day but possibly every minute of every day. For being offended, insulted or indignant by another’s words or deeds happens so easily. Sticks and stones may break the bones. But words can hurt. Sting. Smart. Sadden.

Thoughtless, unkind, reckless, or flippant words are often the most harmful to our psyche, to our spirit, to our soul; but only if we allow or give them permission to do so. Therein lies our power. Therein lies our potency. Therein lies our potential. We are at the controls here. This is our command central. How we feel. How we think. How we react. And most importantly, how we act after receiving such a blow is everything. This is the “big tell.” This is the pivotal moment when more is revealed about our character than that of the offender.

Our egos are bruised. Our hearts are broken. Our feelings are hurt. Our spirits deflated.

But they needn’t be. Know this Girl Warrior, you have the power to A) neutralize your emotions and B) control your response. Both are critical and integral here. You don’t have to be upset, insulted, angry or wounded. You are not a victim. In fact you are just the opposite. What others say to you, or about you, is actually none of your business. Not your concern. It has no bearing on who you are. It’s their stuff. Not yours. Others will say or do what they will, often without even realizing the impact or the consequences. And so will you. So will you. That’s the hard pill to swallow. We are all guilty.

But you can fix this Girl Warrior. It is your job, your mission, to get at the truth and own it. Examine the intention of the offense. Malicious or not, forgive everyone including yourself, so healing can begin. For that is how you get over being offended.

45266_424805354562_4554348_n (1)

182084_10150430201855121_4970987_n (1)

1461807_10152310618226266_6336260415873991309_n

1625506_10153954382870507_8031651777707329283_n

1934145_13097815995_5441_n

10168128_10154065884395591_1860357699392441438_n

11024688_10152766759781220_2840218238214566020_n

12119019_10153036540540946_7093187575491130640_n

11701158_10152865866531846_6109324045200110714_n (1)

12509604_10153726716015236_8109449950360910988_n (1)

12625723_10153335007795918_190046614_n

12631415_10153833435870120_6607217080040536232_n (1)

12642963_10156473060020113_847266406621147881_n (1)

12507570_10153191298431205_7200676041302692192_n (1)