Diaries of The Breadman’s Daughter: Why You Shouldn’t Edit Yourself.

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Girl Warrior. Resist the urge to constantly edit yourself. Change, if necessary. Improve, yes. Grow, most certainly. Challenge your current state of reality, absolutely. Evolve, positively. Do all these things. Engage fully and passionately in the process of becoming.

But also remember the beautiful being you are. Right here and right now.

While you’re on the progress path, realize with every precious scrap of your consciousness that there are wonderful dear things about you that are quintessentially perfect. These are the idiosyncratic things, the singular, sometimes quirky, rare and unusual characteristics that you, and only you, possess. No one else can claim ownership of these truly marvelous qualities. Remember that.

Herein lies your X-Factor. The je ne sais quoi of you. The distinctive trademark that no one else can copy, duplicate, replicate, plagiarize, pirate, poach or clone. Your bona fide stamp, your permanent tattoo, your indelible birthmark. Don’t hold something like this back. Flaunt it.

So wear your bedazzling Lone Ranger brooch Girl Warrior, and let it shine. Loud and proud. No editing. No paring back. No curtailing. No reining in or diminishing. No not ever.

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Diaries of The Breadman’s Daughter: Sometimes You Have to Leave the Herd.

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Girl Warrior. Sometimes you have to leave the herd. Pull away from the pack. And step out on your own. Fly solo. Go it alone. Take on the world single-handedly and forge a path that only you can walk.

This can be a frightening proposition. Terrifying. The mere thought may paralyze you. But don’t let it. Dig down deep into your Girl Warrior heart. Let it reveal all the reasons why you need to take this solitary journey. For in this sacred and sincere examination of all the light and dark places of your marrow you will discover that this is the only way you can get to the next step. This is what you need to do before you can fly.

And fly you must.

On this soul search pilgrimage you will discover some very deep truths about who you are and what you are made of. You will learn about the full depth and breadth and height of your character, rectitude, integrity, honor, principles, virtues and pure sweet goodness.

There is so much goodness.

Walk bravely and boldly through the refiner’s fire Girl Warrior. And know that your Tribe is not only waiting for your glorious and triumphant return, but that they have been there with you every step of the way. They were in the wind and rain and dust and dirt. In the forests and the mountains and seas and deserts. In the cities and villages and small towns and whistle-stops. Their abiding spirits were with you in the sunshine and in the sorrow, in the wilderness of your purpose and the wanderlust of your desires.

And when you are done Girl Warrior, they will be there cheering while you don your cape.

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Diaries of The Breadman’s Daughter: When They Go Low, We Go High.

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The Set-up.

On Tuesday evening I participated in #MichaelMoore‘s Facebook Live Event. It was a very interesting experience to say the least. After I introduced myself to Michael, numerous Canadians chimed in to say they “agreed” with me. That was nice and of them and not surprising. After all, we are known as a country of “nice and polite” people. But there was one comment, from a Trump Supporter, who wasn’t pleased with what I had to say and made his thoughts abundantly clear. He called me a communist idiot and #HillaryClinton a criminal whore. I went to bed that night completely unaware of the comment directed specifically at me. I had been tagged. Meanwhile, I was in Dreamland, and happily oblivious to the fiery discourse that was taking place in response to The Trump Supporter’s comment to me. It was the last thing I had expected and disconcerting to say the least. Just the number of email notifications alone was overwhelming. Enough said.

Below are the unedited comments between the Trump Supporter and I. He never replied to my “response”. Perhaps I rendered him speechless.

The Comment.

Bonney (Boo) King: Hi from Victoria, BC. I’m Canadian and if I could vote for Hillary I would. No question. Love Bernie too. And you. Just watched your movie over the weekend. It was brilliant.

The Response to My Comment.

The Trump Supporter: Hey Bonney stay in canada we don’t need another communist idiot like you to vote for that criminal whore HILLARY

The Response to His Comment.

Bonney (Boo) King: Firstly, I wouldn’t be a good Canadian if I didn’t start by saying I am very sorry that I offended you. I also want you to know that I hear you. Although we may not agree politically I do hear what you’re saying. But more importantly, I hear the anger, rage, fury, frustration, fear, anxiety, and maybe even a bit of sadness, within your words. For these are difficult and challenging times for your country, a county that is not only worthy of your dear and patriotic heart, but worthy of the admiration and respect of the world, in particular your neighbors and friends north of the border. So worthy.

And believe it or not, I love your country too. I grew up in a small border town in Northwestern Ontario and have many fond memories of my wonder years spent in Minnesota.

So during these final days before your election, an election that will not only decide the fate of your country – but in many critical and important ways – the fate of ours and others all around the world, you are in our collective thoughts. Sounds a bit preposterous perhaps but it’s true. Because of your hard-won status as a world leader, what happens in the United States affects us all. We’re all watching and waiting and wondering what will be the outcome next week. And what will become of us, as evolved human beings, in the days and weeks and years that follow. I don’t know a lot for sure, but I do know that whatever happens it will change the course of history – good, bad or otherwise. As an outsider, I have found it exhausting, and at many times heart-breaking, to witness the turbulent maelstrom of these past few months, so I can only imagine how tired, weary, whipped and battle-worn you must feel.

I wish you well and all good things. I wish for you peace, and that somewhere in all of this stressful patience testing, that you find understanding and a place of common ground with your fellow Americans, who like you, love their country dearly. I pray that you will continue to love it mightily regardless of who becomes President next week, and that you will stop calling each other names and move forward in loving kindness.

The Follow-up.

On Wednesday evening I shared the above post with my Facebook Friends. Their overall response was twofold: A) very supportive and sorry that I was on the receiving end of such unpleasant name-calling, and B) somewhat astonished and perhaps even confounded and perplexed by my response to The Trump Supporter.

After reading all their intelligent, thoughtful, kind and loving comments, I shared the following explanation of why I replied the way I did to The Trump Supporter.

The Final Comment.

Thank you all for your thoughtful words of kindness. I am grateful.

Believe it or not, my initial reaction to the comment from The Trump Supporter on Tuesday night’s #MichaelMoore’s #FacebookLive event was to chuckle. Seriously. In my defense, it was very early in the morning and I was in a pre-caffeinated state, but it seemed hilarious that he called me an idiot. Me? An idiot? Silly perhaps, often foolish, and at times downright asinine. But an idiot. No. Never. Plus, I wasn’t your typical garden variety either. I was a “communist” idiot. I’m not that either. Socialist – perhaps. I do have a distinctive left-leaning gait. And I do care deeply about my fellow inhabitants of this awe-inspiring planet that we all share and call home. If that makes me a Socialist, then I confess.

I am also acutely aware that we are all tenants, stewards and custodians here – not owners or landlords. So we’re all in this together – like it or not. We’re here, to not only love and care for the planet, but to love and care for one another. And yes, even the unlovable ones. Or the difficult, the different, the distasteful ones. Yes, even those impossible to understand, accept or breathe the same air.

But this is our challenge as evolved human beings. And it is not easy – at least not for me. I wrestle this devil every day.

When I read heated contentious comments like those of The Trump Supporter on Facebook, I typically move on and refuse to participate. I don’t like public shit shows. One of the great things about this country is that we all have the right, to not only have opinions, but to express them. And with that comes agreement and disagreement. I don’t want that to ever change.

I decided to respond to The Trump Supporter. His comment required it of me. But I didn’t want to reply in kind and spit back the same vitriol that he vomited on me. So I looked into my soul, my Girl Warrior spirit, right to the very essence of my being and thought this:

What would Michelle Obama do? Go high when they go low. What would my mother (Ma) and Jesus do? Turn the other cheek. What would my daughter Aimee do? Stand up for herself.

Inspired by that, I wrote from the purest place in my heart. I did my very best to take the high road, turn the other cheek and stand up for what I believe to be true. I did this knowing full well that it most likely wouldn’t change The Trump Supporter’s mind or heart. Not one bit.

But here’s the really great thing. It transformed my heart, my mind. And if in the process, even one person was moved by my humble thoughts then I think that maybe, just maybe, we’re moving the level of discourse in the right direction. It is my prayer that together, hand-in-fragile-hand, we head towards greater awareness, compassion, kindness, empathy, tolerance, respect, generosity, love, acceptance, peace and ultimately healing. Yes healing. Because after next week, we’re all going to need healing in massive doses. And we have to carry on. But we get to choose how we do that – good, bad or otherwise. United or apart.

I hope you will all join me on this journey of raising our level of collective spiritual consciousness. We can do this. Together.

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Diaries of The Breadman’s Daughter: Never too Late to Start Over.

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Girl Warrior. It’s never too late to start over. To press the refresh button. Begin anew. Hit reset, reboot or recharge. Give yourself a second chance. Or third, fourth, tenth, hundred times a hundred.

And see what happens.

No matter where or what you’ve been or done or said or not said up until this very moment, matters not. Really, truly, completely absorb this. Believe it. Not just with your mind but with your heart. In fact, let your heart take the lead with this particular endeavor. For your heart’s ancient omnipresent wisdom will guide you every step of the way. It will not fail you.

So fear not.

Then, remember the innocence, the wonder and pure gorgeousness of your Little Girl Warrior. Remember her? She’s there now and always has been. Go back to her. Wrap your loving arms around her. Have a heart to heart. Take her by the hand. Renew your acquaintance with this precious person. The young Girl Warrior, who wore the cape and armed with wide-eyed wonder and a great big unstoppable imagination, believed she could be anyone, do anything, go anywhere. Conquer the world in her rare and one-of-a-kind fashion. She was radiant Starshine. And she is still with you.

Girl Warrior, wipe the slate clean and go out and reinvent yourself today in a way that would make Little Girl Warrior proud. So proud.

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Diaries of The Breadman’s Daughter: Recovering Type A Personality.

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My name is Boo

And I am a Type A Person.

But I want to get better

I do

I really really do.

I want to be released

And set free.

Free from the shackles

The fetters and golden bracelets

The relentless drive

To do more

Have more

Be more.

Free from the demands

The swelling and driven ambitions

And endless aspirations

All those needs

The wants

And desires.

Free from the goal setting

And achieving

Striving

Performing

Accomplishing.

Forever reaching

Yet never quite attaining

Never enough.

But

Enough is enough

For I am in recovery

And always will be.

One day at a time

I am learning to

Let go

To relax and release.

I am learning to

To give up …

Taking charge

Being in control

Having my way

Ruling the roost

Sitting in the driver’s seat

Running the show

And being the best.

Being the best.

For these are false illusions

All part of my fantasy

My self-deception

A lifelong hallucination

And deception

The all-consuming

And draining credo

I worshipped.

My name is Boo

And I am in recovery.

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Diaries of The Breadman’s Daughter: Sunday Morning.

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Hey E Baby

I was thinking about that Sunday morning

Just after we bought the house

It was November and the rain

Was pelting on the window

All dark and dreary outside

So you put our first log in the fireplace

I made coffee just for the two of us

You were hanging photos of the family

Framed in black and white

And all those paintings from the artists

Who had passed through our lives

My Barbara Lewis CD was playing

Baby I’m Yours

The sweet soulful sounds

That have the power to break your heart

You took my hand

And we danced around our new living room

You sang the chorus into my ear

While I cried into that soft spot

On the side of your neck

Hey E Baby

I think those were

The best two minutes of my life.

 

Diaries of The Breadman’s Daughter: Take a Leap of Faith.

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Girl Warrior. Take a leap of faith. Especially in those pivotal moments that define the direction of your life, if not permanently, than for a colossal chunk of it. The make or break junctures. The pinpoint life-altering time that when you look back, you realize that, ‘this was when it all started.’

Don’t let this be the split-second that leaves you filled with an entire lifetime of regret.

Leaping can be scary. Fear of failure or change or the unknown can be overwhelming and shake your confidence. Rock your foundation. Make the earth move under your feet so badly that you’re knocked off-balance. Your equilibrium is quivering and quaking. That’s what fear does. But fear is only false evidence appearing real. Not real. Just pretending. A schoolyard bully that you need to show who’s the boss.

It’s paramount that you don’t allow doubt to seep into your thoughts, and then settle there like an ungracious house guest. Not even for a bit. Take a deep breath and jump in. Head-first. Feet-first. Nose-dive. Or ass-over-tea-kettle. It does not matter how, it just matters that you do.

If the faith in yourself is faltering, then jump with the faith that others have in you. Work with that. Seize their faith in you, embrace it and carry it in your heart and your mind until you see what everyone else sees.

You’ve got this Girl Warrior. You can do it. You know you can. Go ahead. Jump.

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