Diaries of The Breadman’s Daughter: Feel the Pain.

13815202_10153695006060918_327432466_n (1)

Girl Warrior. Pain is inevitable. So feel it. Fully. Thoroughly. Exhaustively. Allow yourself to experience every little detail of the hurt you are experiencing. Physically, mentally and spiritually. Wring your emotions dry.

Purge. Cleanse. Release. Repeat.

There is no escaping pain. You can run but you cannot hide. It affects us all sooner or later. Like death, it happens to everyone and everything. Guaranteed. But unlike death, it doesn’t just happen once. And then boom. Lights out. Pain recurs. Also guaranteed.

But what isn’t guaranteed is your perspective. The way you think, feel, react, respond and behave when you’re suffering and in your darkest hour. You may not be able to control when something hurtful is going to come your way or cross your path. But you can control what you do when it does.

This isn’t easy. Your first impulse may be avoidance. Or denial. Or retreat. You may want to run like hell away from the source of your torment, if you can. Or pull the covers over your head. Bury it in the sand. Lock yourself away. Hold a pity party. Lash out. Make accusations. Lay blame. Threaten to harm yourself. Crush your psyche. Curse at your body or mind. Condemn their betrayal. Give up.

Do these things if you must. And there will be times when you need to do all or some of these things. Recovery, getting rid of the bad shit that happens, is a process. And it takes time to heal wounds. Whether it’s a broken arm or a broken heart. A sore knee or a sore spirit. An injured back or an injured mind.

But know Girl Warrior that eventually you have to face it all. Have a showdown with the pain. Feel it all. Surrender to it all. Accept that it is happening. Because the pain won’t leave you until you deal with it. One way or the other. Head-on works. So does a slow and gentle approach. Trust yourself. You actually already know what to do. The wisdom to guide you through this already abides within. Listen to your small quiet voice of truth. Know that all pain is temporary.

Girl Warrior, let this pain be one of your quintessential teachers. Learn. Grow. Forgive. Accept. Emerge. Move on.

69617_10151236328866266_1747284945_n (1)

479406_10150995155606568_1194891344_o (1)

13718624_10153573250716205_879620948119751059_n (1)

13816966_10154256034685120_2076823867_n (1)

13817211_10154932275420260_963132062_n (2)

13819686_10153611376156846_1703442207_n (1)

13820448_10154499045735832_1354648256_n (1)

13820752_10153568369755946_713682462_n (1)

13823660_10153611380731846_86170454_n (2)

Danielle E - pain photo (1)

DSCN2797 (1).jpg

DSCN1634 (1)

IMG_1761 (1)

IMG_2406

Photo on 2016-07-24 at 10.03 AM #2 (1)

Diaries of The Breadman’s Daughter: Maria’s Chickens.

IMG_3539

I love my daily lunch-hour walks along the country road that leads to the Agency. It’s a sweet time of solitude, relaxation and physical activity. It’s also a walking meditation. For that reason alone, I do my best to incorporate these walks into my workday. And for a city girl, with a rural sedentary job, they are also a lifesaver.

There are many things that I have grown to love about these pastoral walks. Like the smell of fresh-cut hay. Or the magnificence of an eagle perched on the top branch of a Douglas fir. The admirable tenacity of the sheep and goats that feed non-stop in the meadows. The explicitness in the demanding calls of the ravens. The comic relief of the quails scurrying across the road in uniform perfection. The dear beautiful deer. The blackberry bushes that line the road and provide a sweet treat along the way. The two majestic horses always grazing in the buttercup field. The cuteness overload from the Cocker Spaniel rescue haven. The tranquil beauty of the horticulture center at the bend in the road. The canopied chip paths that lead into the dark woods. The fragrant smell in the air after a summer rain.

And then there are Maria’s hens. They are an absolutely fabulous flock of girls. They’re the Girl Warriors of Chickendom. I’ve gotten to know them (and their rooster) pretty well over the last 9 years. In reality they probably aren’t the original group I first met 9 years ago but to me, in my little fantasy world, they most certainly are. In my defense, I’ve read that well-raised chickens in backyard settings can live 8 to 10, even 20 years. So what the hell, they could be. Besides reality sucks anyway. And Maria’s chickens live an enviable idyllic blissful life. Things looks so good, I’ve even fantasized about hopping the fence and joining this little brood of sociable cluckers.

I adore these girls. Crazy admission perhaps. But I do. They’ve completely changed my perspective on this particular fowl. Although they have done nothing to improve my foul mouth, after 9 years I do have new and improved outlook, a birds-eye view perhaps. And I can say without hesitation that they are the highlight of my daily walks. They are an endless source of amusement, fascination, curiosity and delight. I am grateful for their unassuming presence along the road.

They are the reason I stopped eating chicken. This country walk, and a Paul McCartney concert in April, also inspired me to stop eating cows and pigs. I never have eaten lambs or goats or anything wild. But let me make something perfectly clear, I’m not a vegetarian or a vegan but I am heading towards that path. I get it. Plus, my love for animals is making it increasingly difficult to eat the flesh of another. I’m not saying it’s a better way, the right way; it’s just my way. Kind of like that Frank Sinatra song.

This week I’m especially thankful for the their eggs. Maria’s hens produce the best eggs along the road. Or so I’ve heard from the good folks who live along the road and have done taste tests. I have only eaten eggs from Maria’s girls. Why go elsewhere when you’ve already experienced perfection, I say.

Besides, I will not be disloyal to the Girl Warriors of Chickendom.

IMG_3518

IMG_3527

IMG_3537

IMG_3541

IMG_3546

IMG_3565

IMG_3569

IMG_3511

IMG_3515

IMG_3559

Diaries of The Breadman’s Daughter. Be One of The Remarkable Ones.

13528673_10153548218956644_9146851418416525774_n (1)

Girl Warrior.

Be one of the Remarkable Ones

Take your place among

The Extraordinary

The Exceptional

The mind-blowing Phenoms

The beautiful Freaks

And breathtaking Weirdos.

 

Stand shoulder-to-shoulder

With the unflinching Renegades

The fearless Rebels

The Risk-takers

The Soul-shakers

The untamed She-Wolves

And lionhearted Sisters.

 

Hang out with the Influencers

Who rouse and motivate

The uplifting Inspirers

The gifted Brighteners

The morale Boosters

The clever Quick-witted

And wise Enlightened.

 

Storm fearlessly into the good night

With your Tribe of Ferocious Sisters

Bare your teeth and growl

Get gritty and wrench your gut

Speak your truth with a deafening roar

Refuse to let your voice be silenced

Because Girl Warrior,

You are one of the Remarkable Ones.

13532982_10153548219376644_8677268980217913316_n

13567254_10153548219336644_1795878251467184900_n

13592312_10153548218946644_8453614633617302870_n

13599785_10153548218931644_268843769040279056_n