Diaries of The Breadman’s Daughter: Have Impeccable Manners.

November 8, 2015 / boo king / Leave a comment

Girl Warrior. Have impeccable manners. There is no excuse for rudeness. Anywhere. Anytime. Treat everyone respectfully and politely. Please and thank you go a long way.

Be courteous and considerate at all times. Especially in those situations when you’re on the receiving end of someone else’s bad form. Take the high road. Always. Pump up the volume on your pleasantness. And you will see how disarming it can be. It’s powerful stuff.

Remember the Golden Rule. Carry it around in your hip pocket. And pull it out whenever you need a little reminder. Treat others the way you would like to be treated Girl Warrior.

It’s that simple.

Diaries of The Breadman’s Daughter: 12 Ways to Bring Heart and Meaning to Your Work.

October 13, 2014 / boo king / Leave a comment

I’m a lucky woman. I was born and raised in a small town in Northwestern Ontario at a time when career options were somewhat limited for women. Or more specifically, my vision for what I could be when I grew up was myopic. Salesgirl. Secretary. Teacher. Nurse. Wife. Mother. It was a time of women’s liberation and world transformation but we lagged behind in our town of early snows and sweltering summers. From that list, I chose Teacher, Secondary Level, with specialization in English and History. An honorable profession, but not for me, at least not back then.

Secretly, I had bigger dreams than the classroom could contain. Write novels. Tell stories. Spend my days in the presence of creative, imaginative and artistic folks. And oddly enough, to carry a satchel-style briefcase made of brown leather to work every day.

Through a series of fortunate events, that spanned the better part of a decade, I landed a job as a Junior Copywriter in a mid-sized boutique agency in Toronto. Thus began a career I never dreamed of but as it turns out was tailor-made for me.

Fast forward two decades to the West Coast to a small boutique agency nestled in the countryside where fields of green are dotted with sheep, horses, chickens and goats. It is here that I have found my place amongst some of the most talented and creative minds in Canada. It is here that I bring my heart for service, my teacher’s sensibility and a mother’s compassion and love.

I am a Production Manager.

I have had tons of on-the-job training and learning over the years. But so much of what I do professionally, and the way I work, my modus operandi, comes from my personal life and core values. There are so many, I could write a book, but here are a dozen things I’d like to share with you, in no particular order.

Be kind and compassionate. Treat people the way you would like to be treated. The old adage is true. Imagine yourself in their shoes. Walk a mile in their moccasins or mukluks or Manolos. Seek understanding. Express genuine concern. Cultivate a magnanimous spirit.
Treat everyone the same, from the courier to the CEO. Everyone is important and has value. Everyone has a meaningful role to play in your business. Be respectful and appreciative of what each person brings to the table, regardless of their title or station in life.
See the good in everyone. It’s there. Truth is, you may have to dig deep to see it in some. While others it sits on the surface like a shiny penny. You have the power to bring out the best in everyone. But first you have to see it.
Be generous with your praise. If someone says or does something you think is terrific or wonderful, remarkable or just plain nice, acknowledge it. Don’t be stingy in this area. Don’t withhold. Let your colleagues, associates and suppliers know how much you appreciate them and the work they do. Take pleasure in the accomplishments of others.
Think of different ways to do things. Be innovative and creative in your approach to everything. This will add freshness to your daily routine. Be a Curious George. Say, “yes” to new opportunities and challenges, even if they scare you. Zig when everyone else is zagging.
Have impeccable manners. There is no excuse for rudeness. Anywhere. Anytime. Treat everyone respectfully and politely. Please and thank you go a long way.
Fear not and take risk. Fear kills creativity and it’s paralyzing. It’s that simple. Kick it to the curb every time it enters your heart, mind or spirit. Go out on a limb and extend yourself beyond your comfort zone. Don’t listen to the naysayers or the negative noise around you. Listen to the small quiet voice within that cheers you on and propels you to greater accomplishments. And if fear or insecurity does creep in, work with the confidence, faith and belief that others have in you. Remember why you were hired in the first place.
Be of service and helpful. Look for all the ways you can make someone else’s job easier and more meaningful. Lighten their load. Lift their spirits. Be someone who can be counted on, trusted, relied upon, and the wind beneath the wings. The supporting actors always have the most interesting parts. Remember that.
Be smart not a smart aleck. Be humble and gracious. Let your talent and brilliance speak for itself. It isn’t necessary to flaunt your credentials. There’s no need to show off or grandstand. Park your ego and let others shine. When you do, it’s remarkable how smart and wise your colleagues will find you.
Extend grace in order to receive grace. We all make mistakes, for we are only human after all. First and foremost, be forgiving when someone makes a mistake, especially on your watch. Accept that things often go awry. Turn out wrong with disappointing results. Understand that unfortunate things happen, even with the best intentions, the best efforts, the best people on the project. Resist the urge to point fingers, assign blame or throw someone under the bus. Trust me, in situations like this, the people involved feel badly enough. Scolding an adult like you would a five-year old child is demoralizing and doesn’t accomplish anything. Nor does it move the conversation in the direction it needs to go.
Recover quickly from mistakes. It’s not the end of the world. You’ll survive. This too shall pass. But first, own it and then move swiftly to repair things. And know this, in the end it’s not the mistake that anyone remembers but how it was dealt with. A bad resolution leaves a bitter taste that lingers in the air. Gather all your resources to help you to fix things. Remember, you are not alone. Most things that go wrong involve several people, all of whom could have prevented it from happening at some point along the process. So rally your troops. Fix it, extend your sincere apologies, learn from the experience, stop beating yourself up. And move on.
Go for a walk at lunch. Take a break. Get out of the office or studio or plant or store, or wherever you spend your day. Leave. I go for a walk every day because that’s what I like to do. I love being outdoors, regardless of the weather or time of year. Walking changes my perspective and opens the window to more mindful ways of working. Helps me to see things differently, more clearly. Unclogs my brain, and possibly my arteries. It eases the stress, fosters problem solving, inspiration and new ideas. I often take an idea for a walk to see if it “has legs” or needs to be tossed. After twenty minutes on the road, I usually know. If walking isn’t your thing, then find something that is. But most importantly, remove yourself from the building. Make this a daily habit. It’s one of the healthiest and most productive things you can do in your day. It’s one of the keys to long-lasting and enduring success.

Diaries of The Breadman’s Daughter: 101 Lessons for a Good Life.

May 26, 2012May 5, 2015 / boo king / 8 Comments

#73 – Every child born to our family is wanted and loved.

I like lists. I find them quite useful. They keep me organized. Or at least they create the illusion of doing so. A nifty thing about lists is how they come chock-a-block with little goals. Each line item something to be accomplished. Been there. Done that. Now move on. And there’s nothing quite like the satisfaction of scratching something off the list. Personally, I like to draw a thick heavy line right through the achievement. Preferably in permanent ink. Finito.

There are daily lists. Like the “to do/call/email” list at work. Some are weekly. Grocery lists fall into this category. Others are annual. The family Christmas wish list reigns supreme. Some are fun. Like the list of things we need for our Annual Thanksgiving Bluegrass Party. Then there are sundry others. Everything from books to read, songs to download, places to see, people to meet, things to keep and things to chuck. All worthwhile and handy to have in your hip pocket.

One of the best lists I have ever compiled is the one that I am sharing with you today. It’s a list of some of the things that Ma taught me during the course of our lifetime together. These are things she said, did, led by example, or simply implied. There are 101 things on this list. There could have been one thousand or one million. Because she taught me so much and I am so very grateful. But I’ve narrowed the list down to 101. I like this number. It reminds me of the first year course numbers when I was in University. English 101. Pyschology 101. Anthropology 101 where I met my first true love. It’s a solid number with the implication that there is more to come. And who knows. Maybe there is.

The list isn’t in any particular order. It’s random. Like life. Some things are common sense. Others uncommon. Extraordinary. Some are peculiar. And contradictory. Some are funny. Others very sad. At times confusing. Often profound in simplicity. And full of classic cliches of the time. But also bright. And wise. Witty. Practical. Pragmatic. Confounding. Infuriating. Loving. Tender. Touching.

Cherished gifts each and every one. From Ma to me. To you. With love.

1. Two wrongs don’t make a right.
2. You can’t make someone love you.
3. Always wear clean underwear. Carry a pair in your purse just in case.
4. Tomorrow’s another day and this too shall pass.
5. The secret to baking a good cookie is to remove it from the oven just before it’s done and let it finish baking on the sheet.
6. Time heals all wounds.
7. You can’t take it with you when you go.
8. Bad breath is better than no breath at all.
9. Everybody needs love even those who are difficult like your father.
10. God is inside of me.
11. The secret to a good spaghetti sauce is to let it simmer all day.
12. Don’t complain. No one’s listening anyway.
13. Nobody’s perfect. They just wish they were.
14. Life is far too short.
15. Send your child to school in fresh clean clothes every day even if it means doing laundry every night.
16. Don’t go out in the sun without a big hat and long sleeves.
17. Walk whenever possible and always have a comfortable pair of shoes at the back door ready to go.
18. You don’t need make-up, except for lipstick. It brightens your face and makes you look pretty.
19. Keep a nice home and welcome everyone into it.
20. Always tell the truth. No one trusts liars.
21. Pay attention to how the dog reacts to your boyfriends. The dog is a good judge of character.
22. Splurge on a really nice dress for a special occasion. Treat yourself and don’t feel guilty. It’s important to feel good when you go out.

#23 – Don’t walk around the house with your shoes on. It’s rude.

23. Don’t walk around the house with your shoes on. It’s rude.
24. Always wash your face and put on night cream before going to bed. Repeat in the morning with day cream. Moisturizing is the key to beautiful skin all your life.
25. Pick up a “Ladies” magazine while you’re grocery shopping. It’s an inexpensive treat.
26. Not everyone belongs in a group.
27. Don’t throw Tupperware parties. No one will come.
28. Stay away from bad people. Especially men who are bad for you. You’ll get hurt every time.
29. Call if you need me. Anytime. Anywhere. I’ll be right there.
30. Babies like to be picked up when they cry.
31. Nothing beats flannel pajamas and nighties.

#32 – Take pictures of the flowers you are sent.

32. Take pictures of the cakes you bake, the flowers you are sent, the gifts you are given, the Christmas tree every year even if it looks the same, it’s different.
33. Support a third world child regardless of your financial situation.
34. Cry when you’re sad. Yell when you’re mad. Sit silently when you need to think. Laugh at the funny things.
35. Get up early. Put the kettle on first thing. Start your day with a cup of tea and piece of toast.
36. It’s okay to wear comfortable clothes around the house just as long as they’re freshly washed and ironed. Being comfortable isn’t the same thing as being a slob.
37. You can never give a child enough love. That’s not what spoils them.
38. Accept invitations to lunch or an afternoon shopping at the mall.
39. It’s okay to fall asleep on the couch while watching television.
40. Don’t worry about your age. There’s nothing you can do about it.
41. Always send Thank You cards.

#42 – Remember everyone’s birthday with a homemade cake.

42. Remember everyone’s birthday with a homemade cake and a nicely wrapped gift. At the very least give a special card.
43. Take care of your teeth. False teeth just aren’t the same as your own.
44. Invite people to stay for dinner. There’s always plenty.
45. Make the bed as soon as you get up.
46. Have supper together every night and make Sunday dinner extra special. Roast something. Have the entire family over.
47. Give people the benefit of the doubt and don’t hold grudges.
48. You don’t need a reason to give a gift or to send someone a note to let them know you’re thinking of them.
49. Try not to hurt someone’s feelings but apologize right away when you do.
50. Mind your manners. Always say please and thank you.
51. Wash your hands all day long but especially before touching food.
52. Bounce a baby on your lap and sing “doodley doodley doodley doo.”
53. Pick up litter when you see it. Stuff it in your pocket if there isn’t a garbage nearby and throw it out when you get home.
54. Never let your grey roots show. It makes you look old.
55. Baths are better than showers.
56. Always bring out the good china for company and on special occasions.
57. You’re never too old to start something new.
58. Nothing tastes quite as good as a sandwich made with lettuce freshly picked from the garden.
59. It’s okay to buy certain things for your home “on time.”
60. Write letters. Everyone loves getting them.
61. No one will love you like your mother. Especially a man.
62. Some people can be mean. That doesn’t make okay for you to be mean back.
63. Take all kinds of vitamins and supplements. They’re good for you.
64. People with thin lips are nags.
65. Pay your bills every month no matter how broke you are. Even if it’s just a little bit to everyone you owe.
66. It’s a sign of beauty if a girl looks like her father.
67. Get the dishes done right after you eat.
68. Eat lots of fruits and vegetables and enjoy dessert.
69. Learn to sew clothes, embroider tablecloths and knit scarves. Teach these to your daughters.
70. Learn to cook and bake, especially if you have children.
71. Read everything you can about being healthy and subscribe to Prevention Magazine.

#56 – Always bring out the good china for company and on special occasions.

72. Try to see the good in everyone.
73. Every child born to our family is wanted and loved.
74. Exercise every day. Walk. Do yoga. Ride an exercise bike.
75. Go back to school at sixty.
76. Don’t waste your time gossiping.
77. A health food store is a good place to shop.
78. The secret to a perfect pie crust is a secret. But here’s the recipe.
79. Be kind and decent to everyone no matter who they are.
80. Walk facing the traffic at all times.
81. Be nice.
82. Don’t go empty handed to someone’s house.
83. Pray for people whether they asked you to or not. Especially your children.
84. Don’t go blabbing family business to the neighbors.
85. You can do anything you want to if you put your mind to it.
86. You’re just as good as anyone.
87. Always make lemon pie from scratch. It’s worth it.
88. Forgive and forget. Sometimes it’s easier said than done though.
89. Celebrate the holidays with your family. Have big wonderful meals and lots of gifts under the tree.
90. You don’t have to get married to be married.
91. Potatoes are versatile.
92. No matter how afraid you are, get on the plane.
93. Respect your elders and those in authority, especially teachers and police officers. Their jobs are hard enough.
94. Don’t be a show off, braggart or know-it-all. No one likes people like that.
95. It’s important to have a room of your own to sew or paint or make things.
96. Always have Kleenex up your sleeve and a package of peppermint Chicklets in your purse.
97. Offer your seat on the bus to older people and pregnant women.
98. Italians are nice people.
99. Don’t make promises you can’t keep, especially to children.
100. You only get out of life what you put into it.
101. You’re never too old to play on a swing.

#101 – You’re never too old to play on a swing.

My Thing About God