Diaries of The Breadman’s Daughter: First Love.

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This is a bit I wrote for my beautiful daughter when she was seventeen. Bittersweet. 

 

Last night

I tried to explain

First Love Heartbreak

And why you hurt so much.

 

Love is complicated

Messy and not always fair

Happily ever after

Isn’t guaranteed

The odds aren’t in our favor.

 

I didn’t want you to learn about

These intricate feelings

While you were so young

I hoped you’d be

As old as dirt

Like me

Before this happened

Or better still I hoped

You’d beat the odds

And be one of the rare ones

Whose First Love

Was your Forever Love.

 

You are my beautiful girl

Who up until last night

Believed in the art

Of romantic gestures

The nuance of passion

And lyrical promises.

 

Right now

You’re not only mourning

The end of something

You thought would last forever

Or at least longer than it did

You’re mourning

The loss of The First.

 

The knowledge that

You’ll never have that again

Is the frustrating veracity

The slap of reality

The cold water

Splashed in your face

The agony and anguish

We all want to escape.

 

You cried and said

You would never love another

The way you loved him

And the truth is

You won’t.

 

You only get one

Like this.

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Diaries of The Breadman’s Daughter: Don’t Take Offense.

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Girl Warrior. Don’t take offense. This may be one of your greatest challenges. One you’ll not only need to work on every day but possibly every minute of every day. For being offended, insulted or indignant by another’s words or deeds happens so easily. Sticks and stones may break the bones. But words can hurt. Sting. Smart. Sadden.

Thoughtless, unkind, reckless, or flippant words are often the most harmful to our psyche, to our spirit, to our soul; but only if we allow or give them permission to do so. Therein lies our power. Therein lies our potency. Therein lies our potential. We are at the controls here. This is our command central. How we feel. How we think. How we react. And most importantly, how we act after receiving such a blow is everything. This is the “big tell.” This is the pivotal moment when more is revealed about our character than that of the offender.

Our egos are bruised. Our hearts are broken. Our feelings are hurt. Our spirits deflated.

But they needn’t be. Know this Girl Warrior, you have the power to A) neutralize your emotions and B) control your response. Both are critical and integral here. You don’t have to be upset, insulted, angry or wounded. You are not a victim. In fact you are just the opposite. What others say to you, or about you, is actually none of your business. Not your concern. It has no bearing on who you are. It’s their stuff. Not yours. Others will say or do what they will, often without even realizing the impact or the consequences. And so will you. So will you. That’s the hard pill to swallow. We are all guilty.

But you can fix this Girl Warrior. It is your job, your mission, to get at the truth and own it. Examine the intention of the offense. Malicious or not, forgive everyone including yourself, so healing can begin. For that is how you get over being offended.

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